Everybody needs a midwife. When I decided to have my third child at home, choosing a midwife was a very important task. And, after my experience of giving birth to Anna, I am convinced that everybody needs to have a midwife, pregnant or not.
I’m not one of those moms who have their babies in the doorway of their homes (I really know someone that happened to!). My pregnancies are long, 43 weeks with Anna, and my labor is hard. Some people have an easier time than others, giving birth… and living life, and maybe those few people don’t really need a midwife. But, for the rest of us, when life gets hard, it sure is critical to have a “person with you.” (For you male readers, think “coach.”)
My midwife said that when a mom is pushing, you can tell by the look of “fight or flight” on her face that a baby will be over 9 pounds. Apparently, I had that look. And, for good reason. Anna was born weighing 11 pounds and was 24 inches long. Also, she was the first baby I had without any pain medication.
Though I had heard the phrase “fight or flight,” I didn’t really know what it meant, so several weeks after Anna’s birth, I looked it up. “Fight or flight” means “the instinctive physiological response to a threatening situation, which readies one either to resist forcibly or to run away….a biological response to severe and intense stress.” Yep, that pretty much sums it up!
It would have been nice if I could’ve resisted forcibly or run away during my labor and delivery. Sometimes when faced with intense stress that is exactly what we do. We isolate ourselves or start fighting. But since neither was an alternative for me, I absolutely had to trust my midwife and follow her advice.
Everybody chooses a “midwife,” that person or thing that is “with us” in our crises. Sometimes we choose addictions. Or depression… Or unforgiveness… Or bitterness… Or a bad attitude. Sometimes we choose better midwives, like prayer… Or mercy…Or helpful resources… Or finding someone who knows more than we do to mentor us.
One of the great things about having a midwife was the freedom I felt to just ask questions. Minutes before Anna was born, I pleaded with my midwife, “I don’t know what to do! Just tell me what to do!” My husband, Ron, said he had never seen me so unsure of myself. And, that, is exactly how I feel when I get hurt. I absolutely don’t have any idea what to do. Which is why it is so important to choose the right “midwife.” Life will place us in situations where we will feel lost, and we are going to need correct guidance.
I’ve learned I need to be very intentional about finding resources, so that when I find myself in a crisis, I can have a place to plead, “Just tell me what to do!” The time immediately following intense experiences is incredibly crucial because they have a way of forming the views we have of ourselves, of others and of God. We need wisdom to speak into our lives in those moments. Not doubt, or fear, or self-loathing.
For sure, giving birth to Anna was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. And yet, I’d do it all over again. I agree with the adage… having a child makes the pain of childbirth well worth it. So it is in life. Once we are able to get through the tough stuff, and God is able to miraculously heal us and begin using those very situations to help others, we can say, “Yes, I’d do it all over again… if that is the only way I could get to the place I am in now.”
I remember looking at my midwife, as I held my newborn in my arms, and exclaiming, “I feel so incredible!” It wasn’t just the emotional elation; my body actually lost all memory of the trauma and released that “cocktail of hormones” my midwife had promised. The expanse between the intense pain and then the feeling of euphoria that I experienced is really impossible to describe. When I told her how great I felt, my midwife smiled, and knowingly nodded her head as she kept working to make sure all was well. God is the same. He knowingly nods His head and says, “What I have begun in you, I will carry on to completion.”
Choose wisely. For you will choose.
[line]
photo(s) courtesy of Stock.XCHNG (http://www.sxc.hu)
Recent Comments